Marriages That Last

Let's face it guys. Most of you don't have a clue how to be sensitive! Well... let me clue you in on a few things...

Here's what the dictionary says about it. Sensitivity, or being sensitive, is responsiveness to things around you. It's a general sense of what's going on. But let's get a little more specific where your marriage is concerned.

Don't think it's just a matter of self-awareness and a general idea of the world around you. The sensitivity your wife wants from you goes a little further. She's looking for a specific kind of sensitivity.

So what is this "specific kind of sensitivity" and how do you show her that you've got it?

First off, don't be afraid to let her know how much you care and that she's important to you. (She is important to you, right?????) Let her know that her feelings are important to you. 

Second, you better make sure she knows her opinion is important to you. How do you do that? Open your mouth and tell her. Try listening for once to what she has to say. Then show her by your actions (more on that in a moment).

Third, put yourself in her place. Think about what it would be like if you were in her position.

Now... about putting all of this into action...

Let's say Rick and I went out for an evening on the town and I forgot my jacket. Rick remembered his jacket. It's starting to get chilly. If Rick automatically gives me his coat or offers it to me, this shows that he's thinking of me first despite his own need for the coat.

Here's another ecample. You come home from work and discover that your wife has had a really bad day and she just needs a break. You have had a bad day as well but you tell her to sit down and put her feet up. Now... you either take care of fixing dinner yourself or you call and order dinner. To top it off you could even get the kids' baths and put them to bed. That's TRUE sensitivity for your wife, and I can guarantee you she will notice and that will be one of the best things you could do for her.

What matters here is that you were aware of your wife's needs, and you did something about it. You can't just talk about it. You have to DO something about it.