| How to Handle Stress In Your Marriage |
| Friday, 25 July 2008 13:22 |
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Avoiding stress in a marriage is impossibe. It's how you handle the stress that affects your marriage. We all have the everyday stress that comes from life. When you start having children (or you bring children to the marriage) this adds extra responsiblity which can be stressful at times. Then if you're like most of us there's never enough money or we think there's never enough for what we need or want. Working on how you think about things and how you come across when you handle the stress and in what you say will either help or hurt your relationship. Usually when we can rely on our partner to help relieve the stress, then we can get through it. Making a plan, talking, and figuring out how to handle things together will help to relieve the pressure. If you are going through a rough patch, remember to never belittle or namecall. Even if you think you are saying the name in a joking matter, it hurts the relationship. Think about what you say and how it's said. Placing blame never works either. If the tension gets out of control, backup and deal with it when you both have calmed down. When we are under stress its easier to get angry. You and your spouse need to trust each other completely and have each others' best interest at heart. When you feel stressed you have to take some time for yourself and it wouldn't hurt for the two of you to take some quiet time together , away from the world. When you begin to deal with the stress, focus your time and energies on something constructive in the situation. For example, if it's money you're stressed about then make a plan and find ways to save money. If it's the children that is causing the stress then get a sitter for the evening and unwind a little bit. Every problem, every stressful situation does have an answer and you can work through it. One thing Rick taught me years ago (which I still use today) is to step back and say "what's the worst thing that can happen because of the problem or the stress?" Then we figure out how we would handle it. And usually the worst thing never happens and you do begin to see that there is a light at the end of this stressful tunnel and you can deal with it. Take your stress and focus your energies on something constructive in the situation. So here are some tips you can use right now today to deal with some of the stress in your life. 1. If you're stressed about money, find ways to save money. That sounds simple because it *is* simple. Create an emergency fund today. If you can save only $25.00 in your emergency fund, save the $25.00. But save it! That fund is for nothing but emergencies. 2. If you're stressed about the kids, find a sitter for the night and unwind a little bit. Just remember, every problem, every stressful situation does have an answer and you can work through it. Take a deep breath and go talk about it. |
1. Do you trust your husband enough to tell him how you feel? You've explained it pretty clearly here. Can you do the same thing with him?
2. As I discussed what I learned from Rick in the article, have you identified what would be the worst possible outcome if you discussed this with your husband?
3. Are you willing to accept the fact that what your husband says may not be what you want to hear? What will you do at that point? You have to answer this question for yourself first.
4. Is there a compromise that you can both reach that you're both willing to live with? For example, if he's willing to give you the money that you feel you deserve are you willing to put up with his control?
Here's the thing. In order for a marriage to thrive no one person can have all the control you both have to compromise!
Let us know how it goes.