Jan 04 2012
Am I Happy With My Marriage?
I recently went to lunch with a few friends. We took this older lady to lunch because it was her birthday. So she was talking about how old she was and that she had been married 40 years. Of course, we all congratulated her and… one of the ladies asked her if all the years had been happy years. She hesitated, said no and said especially not today! She wanted to kill him because he had made her so mad! Then she started laughing. She never got into why she was mad at him, but that friend asked a couple of the others if they had always been happy in their marriage. One said no , another wasn’t sure, and then it was my turn.
I knew my answer was yes I had always been happy! I explained we had been through some challenges and hard times financially but I could truthfully say I had never not been happy. I looked back and realized those challenges were really hard and I wouldn’t want to go through them again.
But we were able to grow closer together and that bond grew because we had endured those challenges. Now that it has been 32 years, I can look back and realize this. Of course, Rick has driven me crazy over a few things over the years and I him, and of course we haven’t seen eye to eye on everything.
We’ve had many differences of opinion and we’ve had to compromise on some things. We’ve had to make sacrifices and still do! But I can truthfully say there’s not another man alive that I would want to go through life with but Rick. He’s my safe place and my love, I’m so grateful we have a happy life together.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything and if I could give my children but one thing it would be the kind of happiness in their marriages that we have. The way the world views marriage today I really hope they can have a chance at happy marriages. It takes one day at a time and a lifetime of days and then you wonder where all that time went and oh how fast the time flies!
What a lovely post, Sharon!
I would say the same about my marriage of 63 years and four months. There have been very bad times and the ugly word “divorce” came up two different times, but, as I look back, I can see what a shame it would have been to miss the last thirty years. They have been the best.
I say that if your marriage is not happy, figure out a way to make it happy. There are books, counselors, pastors, support groups, sex therapists, etc. available to you. Life is too short to live it in the presence of someone with whom you are not happy.
Don’t wait for him – change yourself and your marriage.